SRS: T-23 hours

 Oh gosh, less than a day. Tomorrow at this time I will be on operating table already. 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱



I was barely able to sleep last night for some reason. I took sleeping pill to get some decent amount of sleep but it only made me very calm and tired. So hopefully my body was able to rest at least. I got something like 2-3 hours of sleep, I think. I'm also pretty sure I won't be able to sleep much tomorrow night, I will be way too nervous. And wake up at 5am anyway.

Last breakfast. Last cups of coffee. Last everything at home. Last moments of this era of my life. This is pinnacle of my transition, towards which I have lived (more or less) the past 10 years. I know the happier times will be in front of me, after some suffering. But even with pain, just the lack of dysphoria will make days so much brighter.

My train will leave in 9:04 to the capital. I hope it won't be late, I have reserved only one hour from the train station to the hospital.

I tested briefly my entertainment software. Good thing I did as playstation remote play had update, which will enable PS5 remote play. It was typical sony experience, you had to log in again and after it the software just froze and I had to kill it, then run it again and find it being logged in. -_- Anyway, it works nicely now. Geforce Now I use regularly with my laptop, this doesn't have the horses to run anything but solitaire and even that badly. Plex I use regularly as well. I'm also so happy that my laptop is 2-in-1 because then I can put in top of the tray thingy and get the display to right at my face, while being horisontal in hospital bed. Watching plex and playing Horizon: Zero Dawn would be so easy as I need only mouse or controller to my hand. Good thing to be a nerd for a change.

I'm thinking to write one more post during the night before the surgery, so stay tuned!


'Til next time~ 💜

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