Health conference
This doesn't concern my process directly, but affects to my well-being so I'm blogging about it.
So, I had health conference yesterday with my boss and our occupational doctor. It was mainly because of my coping at work is bit bad as I have severe anxiety, even though I got "only" moderate from test. As it is very hard for me to start tasks. When I'm able, then there isn't any problem with it, until I finish it and it's time to start another one. So, we talked for a good while and my boss was understanding and he's mentality was/is that let's get this fixed. And the doctor was like "you haven't been on sick leave because of this. Are you really sure you don't need it?". So, as my own opinion is that it might be easier for me to do shorter workday, although I can't afford it. So, doctor suggested that she will write me partial sickness benefit. But pre-requisite for that is that I have been on sick leave for at least two weeks. So I'm having it now.
What that will mean in a long run? I will get 120 day period, during which I don't have to do full workday even though I get paid for it. The system works like that that government pays the part my company will not, as my work input is much less as I don't work that long so it would be silly for my company to pay for me being at home doing nothing work-related, so they will pay only that part which I'm working and government the rest. At first it will be like 40% contract would be, so my workday will be 3.5 hours. That will last for bit over a month or so. Then it will be increased to 50% for another period and finally to 60% until all 120 days are spent. After it, I will continue with current 100% day.
120 days from here is end of january. My process in transclinic should have started already and hopefully be in full swing. It might even in that point where I get my diagnosis. I also feel that I'm happier nowadays, it can even be seen from this blog! I noticed it by myself from reading my old posts and how dark they are compared to the newest posts. Although I'm not sure how well that can be seen by someone who is not me. But I have bit less than half a year to get my anxiety better. I don't have to heal from it, that would be too much to ask, but to get my initiative back. So I can get my work done.
In the end of january I should have been able to get my monthly costs lower, as the car I have in my disposal should been sold in that point, and I will return both of my parking permits, in work and home, which will save me quite a much money. It might be good idea to re-check my tax rate as well, as I'm getting quite a much tax returns again. I'm living from hand to mouth currently anyway, so getting even that little bit more would be huge. And it will get better in the end of next year, when I have paid my furnitures finally.
In the positive side of things, I'm starting to get back my old eternal optimism. It went away thanks to ex-gf, molded to realism. I'm taking that as a sign of curing from anxiety as well. Although I still get quite hard anguish attacks, those are much easier to handle than constant anxiety, as they are temporary thing. Another positive sign is that I want to go to photograph things and play cello. Downside in it is that I don't have cello here. Oh well.
But, I will try to relax and not to think my process or work too much, like the doctor suggested. So, now some anime!
So, I had health conference yesterday with my boss and our occupational doctor. It was mainly because of my coping at work is bit bad as I have severe anxiety, even though I got "only" moderate from test. As it is very hard for me to start tasks. When I'm able, then there isn't any problem with it, until I finish it and it's time to start another one. So, we talked for a good while and my boss was understanding and he's mentality was/is that let's get this fixed. And the doctor was like "you haven't been on sick leave because of this. Are you really sure you don't need it?". So, as my own opinion is that it might be easier for me to do shorter workday, although I can't afford it. So, doctor suggested that she will write me partial sickness benefit. But pre-requisite for that is that I have been on sick leave for at least two weeks. So I'm having it now.
What that will mean in a long run? I will get 120 day period, during which I don't have to do full workday even though I get paid for it. The system works like that that government pays the part my company will not, as my work input is much less as I don't work that long so it would be silly for my company to pay for me being at home doing nothing work-related, so they will pay only that part which I'm working and government the rest. At first it will be like 40% contract would be, so my workday will be 3.5 hours. That will last for bit over a month or so. Then it will be increased to 50% for another period and finally to 60% until all 120 days are spent. After it, I will continue with current 100% day.
120 days from here is end of january. My process in transclinic should have started already and hopefully be in full swing. It might even in that point where I get my diagnosis. I also feel that I'm happier nowadays, it can even be seen from this blog! I noticed it by myself from reading my old posts and how dark they are compared to the newest posts. Although I'm not sure how well that can be seen by someone who is not me. But I have bit less than half a year to get my anxiety better. I don't have to heal from it, that would be too much to ask, but to get my initiative back. So I can get my work done.
In the end of january I should have been able to get my monthly costs lower, as the car I have in my disposal should been sold in that point, and I will return both of my parking permits, in work and home, which will save me quite a much money. It might be good idea to re-check my tax rate as well, as I'm getting quite a much tax returns again. I'm living from hand to mouth currently anyway, so getting even that little bit more would be huge. And it will get better in the end of next year, when I have paid my furnitures finally.
In the positive side of things, I'm starting to get back my old eternal optimism. It went away thanks to ex-gf, molded to realism. I'm taking that as a sign of curing from anxiety as well. Although I still get quite hard anguish attacks, those are much easier to handle than constant anxiety, as they are temporary thing. Another positive sign is that I want to go to photograph things and play cello. Downside in it is that I don't have cello here. Oh well.
But, I will try to relax and not to think my process or work too much, like the doctor suggested. So, now some anime!