Telling to parents

Today was ruff. My mom came back from Lappi (she was visiting my big brother) and I was waiting at the train station for her to arrive, 5:45 in the morning.. And drove her back to home to Valkeakoski. I thought that this would be perfect opportunity, as my dad woke up as well when we were making coffee. So, I came out of the closet and they were shocked, obviously. But they took it rather evenly. I could sense the screaming "why" from their eyes but there was no drama. I finally got to know what my parent's would have named me if I was born as female: Nina. I have asked it before but my mom have just ignored the question with "it doesn't matter anymore" or something. I will stick with Mira though, I like it much more. We talked about my announcement for good two hours and because of that, I went to work bit late, fortunately we have flexible work hours. I also told to two of my nearest managers at work (my boss and the guy who looks after the processes and tickets), who took it very well. I had told to my big brother in last time 7 years ago, but it was still shock to him when I told him that "here we go again..". ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So, I'm out of closet for all the most important people now. It surely has taken some of the load off from my shoulders. But there is still rest of the workplace who doesn't know and rest of my friends. Some of them, who has been around for long enough and close enough, might remember what I was last time but I wouldn't count on it. Some might even thought that it was "just a phase" -_-. Although I still would like to talk about this beside of the table with someone I trust. It's very hard to keep my posture good with this kind of load, although I will stay STRONK. That might happen tomorrow, as one of my friends is having big party as he turned 30 last week. And there is good amount of my friends as well. But I don't want to be party pooper so let's see what happens. At least it is release from everyday life if nothing else, which will be refreshing by itself. And I will definitely take everything out from that refreshment!

I also painted my nails again, as I took the nail polish away when I took my mom to the train station on monday, so she wouldn't suspect anything. It's stupid how much such a small thing affects to your mood. I wish I would have some make up accessories as well.. But I don't, or enough money for them. Those are surprisingly pricy. At least I know where to spend all the extra I manage to put aside :'D. I also looked though emp.fi and drooled all over the place. But it is not clever to buy any clothes now as I'm losing weigth rapidly and way overweight. But, for the future at least...

But now some sleep, long day partying ahead tomorrow!

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