Droplets from the voyage of a trans-woman

6 months, half a year. Long - or short, time. For me it feels like both at the same time, so much has happened but it feels like I'm missing month or two. Straight to the point: I feel like I'm roughly 2 months late what comes to general recovery of the surgery. My tactile feel is starting to get better and I can actually feel light touch in some spots. There's quite good tactile feel on clitoris as well, maybe little bit on hypersensitive side even. The swelling has gotten smaller, though it's still bit swollen. But not by much. There's still no erogenous feel though, unfortunately. And because of that, my libido is rather low most of the time. There's couple of days in a month (clearly tied to hormonal cycle) when it's really high but rest of the time - not so much. I don't feel suffering though, just little frustrated. But, like I said, I feel like I'm bit late in the recovery, most likely thanks to the necrosis, so I'm confident that the prop...

 Checkup time again~ This time it was just surgeon and two random nurses, of which one was student most likely, considering how she looked my pussy with interest. Everything has healed well, the tactile feel isn't there yet but I have got some feeling of pain, so it's coming back eventually. AFAIK the pain and feel of cold are the first ones as those are the finest nerves. I'm confident that it will be fine, it will just take more time. But how much, that's still unknown. The surgeon said that usually everything will be pretty much normalised and head has adjusted in about one year. My clitoris is super sensitive nowadays. Anything more than very light touch starts to hurt right away and I don't have any erogenous feel yet. I was able to get the orgasms, like I wrote previously but that's outright impossible to achieve now as it would require more delicacy than I'm able to handle. Vibrator is way too much.  My sleep has stabilised to midnight - 8:00 now. Tha...

 Ok, enough to write to post has happened again. I saw my neurologists bit over a week ago, on wednesday. She was surprised that my migraine situation has gotten much better now. I told her that I would like to get rid of Noritren and maybe get Orloc back as it worked so well in the past. After chatting a little bit about the surgery and migraine situation, we talked quite a long time about my sleep. And I understand now why. Noritren was left out, and I can really feel the withdrawal symptoms. The most interesting one is - sleeping. I haven't got any migraines and I have a feeling that that might be tied to hormonal cycle now, if I get migraine between 11th and 24th, then it will be hormonal cycle migraine, it has been bit too consistent to that.  So, sleep. I have slept a hecking lot. Like a cat actually. Almost right after the med was left out, I went to sleep in normal time, around 23 as I was rather tired. But, I slept only 6 hours, waking up refreshed! Refreshed!! But it...

 Check-up time again~ I planned to write once or twice in between the two visits but .. well, I didn't. Today gave some great news though, it has healed really well so all the restrictions I had left were lifted. I can go to sauna for example! ✨ I kinda started to miss it already. I might go as soon as today~ Dilatation. I bought two dilators from kaalimato right after last visit and they were super fast, I got the package the very next day! I bought one with two different sizes, 2.5cm diameter and 3.5cm diameter. I have mostly used the bigger one as the smaller started to feel quite small very quickly. My depth is about 10 cm currently, which is not that much imo, though definitely enough to have sex. People with bigger equipment just needs to be careful to not ram too deep. The dilatation itself is somewhat boring as my tactile feel is so lacking still. It's getting better in the deep end of the vagina, so I can actually feel a bit what I'm poking. Minimum time to dilata...

 Alright, checkup - done. This time it was only specialist nurse. She looked at it and everything looked good, it has healed really well. Especially vagina. So, I got permission to dilate and masturbate ✨ I have waited that for so long, I was suffering because I had forcefully shut down my libido. OK, my tactile feel is so impaired still that I doubt I can orgasm just yet but at least I'm allowed to try. It might very well be possible. So, I need to buy dilators. Nurse said that I can buy quite big ones right away (roughly diameter of the oculum, so, 2-2.5cm) as I'm so deep and instructed how to do the dilatation. Which is basically "make it bigger with the tool" by inserting and stirring. Also, I need to do it for 10 minutes per day, wow. I do want to get better tactile feeling before having sex though, it would be just annoying if I don't feel much. I'm looking forward for all the sensations though. 🥰 Otherwise, the healing is happening slowly but steadily....

 Long time, no post. Not much has happened though. I called to hormone clinic on monday, nurse called back on tuesday and endocrinologists called on wednesday. She said that it's fine to raise hormones back to full dosage, which I did yesterday. She also said that it's impossible to say if I need finasteride, there isn't any blood test they could do (I actually doubt that..), it's up to me if I feel like I need it. So, I just need to make a note how much I lose hair and if it starts to get up, then start finasteride again. The call was kind of ..useless, I'm not sure who the doctor actually was but the way she talked was "yeah, you didn't have anything more important to say?". So, I had half dosage for a week and now full dosage again. The week was really annoying, the hot flashes got very intense and they still were quite constant. "Hey, this is the good stuff! But this is not enough, we want more! *throws tantrum*". Just the past ~30 hours ...