SRS: T-25 days

 Busy, busy week. In good and bad.



I haven't had any additional migraines, it's interesting and good thing. I got only one on last week's thursday and another on sunday but not any more actual migraines. I have had tons of different kinds of normal-ish headaches though, hunger headache was new experience but all of them were somehow easily explainable and treatable, like, eat, drink water and coffee and stretch a bit. 

I have had hard time at work, mostly because I have been so busy during the evenings and that I have had insomnia, which has caused that I have been really tired at work and started my workdays very late. Though, as I have been so busy, I have been able to charge up my socialising batteries as I have actually seen people on several days! My occupational physician still though that bit of sick leave would be good, but because of the lack of sleep, and wrote some sleep meds (Zolpidem Vitabalans). Like, last night I slept 2.5 hours after rolling around in my bed for 5 hours. But, sick leave until tuesday and I have short check-up with her on then that do I need even more sick leave than that. I also lowered my work contract to 40%, like I thought I would in last post, starting at first of October.

It still feels strange that how messed up my head is. Like today my mind has been really energetic and wanted to do much but body refused. I have had hot flashes, or some weird static state of that, feeling hot and cold at the same time, my thermostat might be bit messed up as I noticed that my body temperature had gone bit up permanently due to HRT. So far medication changes haven't felt much emotionally, only the exhaustion, insomnia and hot flashes. Though, it's still hormones we are talking about so no wonder it will take some time.



One other thing worth mentioning happened during the week though. I got another crush. And this time it's strong enough that I have urge to clean up the chaos I have in my apartment as I want to take her to my place. Well, I don't function properly without being in a relationship so that's really logical though. I see her next week, we'll see where things go.


Not as long post as I though it would be but I'll write more next week!

'Til next time~ 💜

Popular posts from this blog

Uncensored Tipsy Thoughts 5

Being drunk is interesting. It makes you think things from different perspective. Tonight, I have thought about the harsh contradiction in myself. In one end, there is the tech head. My work. Things I love to do with computers. Gaming. In another end, there are the girly things. Starting from makeup and clothes, ending to how I carry myself and how I observe world and imitate it. In third end, there is my bad side. How grim and self-reliant I am. And partly reflecting that, my ability to read people way better than I would like to. In the fourth end is what I want to show to the world. That I'm neutral, optimistic and liberal, can get along with everyone, I don't prejudge. I give certain amount of trust to everyone. And depending on your actions I judge you and you will either gain or lose trust. That is bit bad combination. In the history of mine, there are several occurrences when I have hitted below the belt with words very hard. I do it unconsciously when I'm pissed
Read more

SRS: 1 year later

 Wait, already? I visited HUS on wednesday, for year later inspection. Everything was fine according to the surgeon. And I realized how rough she has been all the time. I just haven't felt it before so it was bit of a shock. But, no problems with urinary retention or anything really, only occasional (rather intensive) sting of pain which lasts usually only couple of seconds. Sometimes longer, but less than minute and those are less intense. I'm guessing it relates to nerves healing and the surgeon said that they take time to heal as an answer to my pondering. It also looks like a pussy, like it should. I have next visit in two years, 3 years after surgery. I hope everything has healed completely then, though tactile feel is pretty much only thing lacking so. Talking about tactile feel, it is rather good nowadays. There's almost numb spots still, especially on top (between labia) and under (in the vagina) the edematous tissue. But the vagina, especially the deep end, labias
Read more

SRS: T-23 hours

 Oh gosh, less than a day. Tomorrow at this time I will be on operating table already. 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 I was barely able to sleep last night for some reason. I took sleeping pill to get some decent amount of sleep but it only made me very calm and tired. So hopefully my body was able to rest at least. I got something like 2-3 hours of sleep, I think. I'm also pretty sure I won't be able to sleep much tomorrow night, I will be way too nervous. And wake up at 5am anyway. Last breakfast. Last cups of coffee. Last everything at home. Last moments of this era of my life. This is pinnacle of my transition, towards which I have lived (more or less) the past 10 years. I know the happier times will be in front of me, after some suffering. But even with pain, just the lack of dysphoria will make days so much brighter. My train will leave in 9:04 to the capital. I hope it won't be late, I have reserved only one hour from the train station to the hospital. I te
Read more