HRT: Seventh month
Late again. Migraine is torturing me and sucking all the spare energy I have.
I noticed that when I started to use heeled shoes about one and half months ago that little by little I started to get more and more migraine attacks. The situation has been quite cumbersome lately, I'm having almost constant migraines. I think there might three reasons why.
First reason is the shoes itself. I'm using my back differently and that have caused muscle tension, which have gone up in the back and to my shoulders. As my back and especially shoulders have been quite sore lately.
Second reason is weather. As it has cooled down, it might have done things to my head. For some reason autumn is worst time of the year for my migraine, even though I love this weather otherwise. It starts to be dark in the evening and fall's colors are painting the trees. I just love it so much. 💜💛 And I also thought about summer. It was really hot and humid, which is the worst trigger for my migraine, but I didn't have any. Until I went to cooled place, like my parents. Then the migraine hit hard. But as long as I was in the triggering weather, everything was fine.
Third reason came to my mind just today. Hormones. I realized that the effects its causing are going in cycles. I haven't been that moody lately but my muscles started to be sore again. My boobs were quite painless for a couple of weeks, but now they are trying to kill me again. Makes sense though, everything what hormones do seems to go in cycles, especially with estrogen.
I went to half-year checkup, like I wrote in last month's post, and to the blood tests. The results came just couple of days ago. All the blood values were fine, except estradiol. It was only 0.16 nmol/l. Which is, according to some laboratory manual in the internet, normal for a girl in her early teens but not enough for a woman. So the doctor raised the Estradot to 150µg, 2x75µg. So back to two patches at one time. So I went pharmacy today to fetch those. Well, it wasn't first time I need higher dose than average.
I noticed that I have changed again without me noticing. I'm starting to be more bitchy. The bad side of me is growing stronger. I noticed this while talking with one friend, who is .."felt slipper". So, won't say much against and avoids controversy as much as possible, so, being silent. And I realized that as I wanted to talk about certain thing, I started to tease, hit and lastly even bully with words. In that point I realized what I was doing and stopped it. As I wanted to get some kind of reaction and to lead the talk to friendly argument. I have to be more careful in the future, as I didn't even realize what I was doing before it was bit too late.
Some of that is familiar. I love friendly arguments. Especially when it is from some subject I know a lot. But if the opposing party doesn't know enough, it starts to be something I hate in myself. I just start to hit with facts and assert myself (päteä in finnish). Also, I have never minded much about how much I hurt the other people with words, but have tried to avoid it with people I want to keep around me. And because of that I very rarely apologize what I have said. Though, I might apologize in a way that to whom I'm apologizing might think I apologized something else what I really did. And I never do if I don't personally see reason for apology. But, I'm clever enough that I realize that if I hit everyone around me, soon enough I will be completely alone so it's kinda hard game to play. Especially as I love to be always talking and I'm always commenting things. But, silence is golden so I have to learn to restrain my yearn to talk and boast. Like many other things as well but that is the worst property of me currently. And I hate it.
Although, even if I hate the need to boast, I don't want to get much softer. I know I'm quite sharp and hard and those are mostly good properties. And no matter the subject, you will always get my opinion, even though the answer might be "well, quite a same for me but if I have to choose I'd go that place", or whatever it is in question. Though, that seem to annoy some people. Let them be annoyed. 😈
And I think I have already talked about that in this blog so I will leave to there. I hate repeating and the fact that I have a memory of a goldfish.
More will follow if pain of breast growth and migraine lets me.
I noticed that when I started to use heeled shoes about one and half months ago that little by little I started to get more and more migraine attacks. The situation has been quite cumbersome lately, I'm having almost constant migraines. I think there might three reasons why.
First reason is the shoes itself. I'm using my back differently and that have caused muscle tension, which have gone up in the back and to my shoulders. As my back and especially shoulders have been quite sore lately.
Second reason is weather. As it has cooled down, it might have done things to my head. For some reason autumn is worst time of the year for my migraine, even though I love this weather otherwise. It starts to be dark in the evening and fall's colors are painting the trees. I just love it so much. 💜💛 And I also thought about summer. It was really hot and humid, which is the worst trigger for my migraine, but I didn't have any. Until I went to cooled place, like my parents. Then the migraine hit hard. But as long as I was in the triggering weather, everything was fine.
Third reason came to my mind just today. Hormones. I realized that the effects its causing are going in cycles. I haven't been that moody lately but my muscles started to be sore again. My boobs were quite painless for a couple of weeks, but now they are trying to kill me again. Makes sense though, everything what hormones do seems to go in cycles, especially with estrogen.
I went to half-year checkup, like I wrote in last month's post, and to the blood tests. The results came just couple of days ago. All the blood values were fine, except estradiol. It was only 0.16 nmol/l. Which is, according to some laboratory manual in the internet, normal for a girl in her early teens but not enough for a woman. So the doctor raised the Estradot to 150µg, 2x75µg. So back to two patches at one time. So I went pharmacy today to fetch those. Well, it wasn't first time I need higher dose than average.
I noticed that I have changed again without me noticing. I'm starting to be more bitchy. The bad side of me is growing stronger. I noticed this while talking with one friend, who is .."felt slipper". So, won't say much against and avoids controversy as much as possible, so, being silent. And I realized that as I wanted to talk about certain thing, I started to tease, hit and lastly even bully with words. In that point I realized what I was doing and stopped it. As I wanted to get some kind of reaction and to lead the talk to friendly argument. I have to be more careful in the future, as I didn't even realize what I was doing before it was bit too late.
Some of that is familiar. I love friendly arguments. Especially when it is from some subject I know a lot. But if the opposing party doesn't know enough, it starts to be something I hate in myself. I just start to hit with facts and assert myself (päteä in finnish). Also, I have never minded much about how much I hurt the other people with words, but have tried to avoid it with people I want to keep around me. And because of that I very rarely apologize what I have said. Though, I might apologize in a way that to whom I'm apologizing might think I apologized something else what I really did. And I never do if I don't personally see reason for apology. But, I'm clever enough that I realize that if I hit everyone around me, soon enough I will be completely alone so it's kinda hard game to play. Especially as I love to be always talking and I'm always commenting things. But, silence is golden so I have to learn to restrain my yearn to talk and boast. Like many other things as well but that is the worst property of me currently. And I hate it.
Although, even if I hate the need to boast, I don't want to get much softer. I know I'm quite sharp and hard and those are mostly good properties. And no matter the subject, you will always get my opinion, even though the answer might be "well, quite a same for me but if I have to choose I'd go that place", or whatever it is in question. Though, that seem to annoy some people. Let them be annoyed. 😈
And I think I have already talked about that in this blog so I will leave to there. I hate repeating and the fact that I have a memory of a goldfish.
More will follow if pain of breast growth and migraine lets me.