Droplets from the voyage of a trans-woman

Wait, what? Already? Where that month went? Well, not much has happened this month. Like the gynecologist said, let's go slowly. My boobs are about the same size, my face fat has moved a little more, more muscles has gone away. Most of the things has happened in my head. I helped my cousin to move yesterday as I have truck driver's license and it was much easier to move with bigger car than van from Tampere to Valkeakoski. It underlined how much I have lost muscles. He had 16kg kettlebell, which I wasn't able to get up using only one arm. I have my finger power still pretty much intact so hanging it with two fingers wasn't any problem, but getting it anywhere above my hip required both hands and serious effort. 16kg kettlebell! So I wasn't wrong when I thought that most of the muscles has gone from my shoulders and hands as my shoulders has been quite sore today, as well as my lower back. But I will just say: Finally. Although that might make my work harder when

Sunday again, summing up. Kinda lot happened this week, especially on weekend. More voice training and friends meeting up, dancing, movie and thinking Let's start with the start of the week. Monday and tuesday was rather dull otherwise but I have noticed that patch change days are bit hard mentally, it's hard to concentrate to anything and I get hot waves. Wednesday I learned that my mom was transferred to Tampere University Hospital (TAYS for short) as her condition didn't improve in the local hospital. Well, easier for me to visit her and I paid a visit on thursday. And my brother sent me message yesterday that the medication started to work so things are going to better way. Which was reassuring to hear. On friday, well, I don't even remember much what happened then. We went to Star & Moonlight to have lunch, habanero lamb with garlic naan. And I ate half a liter of very sweet ice cream (brand was geisha but I think it's local thing) on top of it as "

It's sunday again so time to sum up the week. I have finally noticed some effects the lack of testosterone causes and have tried to enjoy myself. I also changed my name in private medias. I noticed couple of days ago that even though my weight hasn't practically changed (changed up and down within one kilogram), my tummy has gotten bigger. So, my body is really eating my muscles finally. I haven't noticed from where but my shoulders has been sore so at least from there. And I think that's where I have most of the unused muscles. Hopefully my shoulders will get less sloping and neck to thin out. It might sound anorectic but it is not. I have just bit too much extra. I have started to actually like my shins. Especially when I use tights. And my tummy area has that little fattines which I would like to get away as well. And that subject is actually quite interesting. My beauty standard has changed within a year. What I thought was too thin is OK now, or maybe I'm j

Yet another week. Heart rate has been bit of challenge. So, I raised spironolactone to 100mg on monday and left orloc away completely on thursday. I'm still feeling consequences of that. Especially today has been extremely interesting. I went to see a good friend and drank couple of ciders and she did some pizza and we talked about stuff. I didn't feel anything out of ordinary, other than I felt hot. Like after running for a while. Then I checked my heart rate. 115 bpm. Alright. And that went even further during the evening. It was consistently over 100, mostly around 110 and 120 while idling but when I stood up, it got around 140 or more. But, it doesn't feel bad. Other than that feeling of after running 100m as fast as you can. But, orloc is beta blocker so what you really expect, especially after eating it for two years. So, I will monitor myself for couple more days. I have also drank some alcohol, which raises the heart rate even more. I'm guessing that it woul

So, my hormone replacement therapy started four weeks and three days ago. The start was bit rocky as my migraine inhibitors interfered with it. I got something, which was most likely hyperkalemia. After that incident, I continued with lower dosage for one week, gradually getting dosage to the designated level, which will happen tomorrow. The very start was interesting. I didn't have any expectations really what it would feel like. So it was quite a surprise that ten minutes after applying the patch I got any feelings. And those initial feelings are pretty much only thing I have felt after that. Those went away in between and they come back every now and then, especially after drinking alcohol. And only way to describe them is very mild tipsiness. Like what you get right after first beer, or bit milder than that. I haven't noticed much physical or mental changes, yet. I think my boobs have either changed shape slightly or grown or both. I might be bit more emotional than mon