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Showing posts from October, 2019

Wandering thoughts 24

Rough three weeks. My gf had halloween parties bit over a week ago, which was basically another tracon how much it taxed us. Things are normalizing again but it is really hard to push through by just seeing on a glimpse every now and then. It is a negative feedback loop, which is really bad thing in a relationship. Fortunately the loop gets broken rather soon after the event and turns into a positive feedback loop. But it was very hard for both of us anyway. I have to be careful with those negative loops as it is cumulative and possibly can end the relationship if it gets too bad. Or to burn-down of either, which is even worse. But it is good to realize it now, so things can be taken account to. And we have got some quality time again, went to amusement park and to see maleficent 2 in to theater. Though, not as much skinship  as I would liked but I'm bit demanding in that, so I'm trying to restrict myself and not to cling too much. But that is so very hard. I linked my bl

Wandering thoughts 23

Way, way too long time. So much has happened and my mental strength hasn't been enough to deal it all. Voice therapy (finally), Tracon, Ropecon, great amount of time with gf, 1.5 year checkup, and what else? Lots of mental roller-coaster. I'll start with the voice therapy. It contained mere 3 times, of which two were about one week apart and third one month later from first. I got couple of very important tricks from there. First, widen the larynx to allow more air to go through while speaking, which alone was enough to get pitch up a bit and make the voice quite a bit louder. It is rather tiring to do it and requires a lot of conscious muscle control. Second, to soften the start of words. Like imagining unpronounced H in the start of every word starting with vowel. It was actually rather easy to get almost automatic. But these two tricks reduced the amount of low creaking sounds from my speak. Which in turn made the voice much much more natural. But, a lot of practice is st