Droplets from the voyage of a trans-woman

One and a half weeks again. At least there has been some progress in the process. After seeing the specialist nurse on 10th of this month, she said that she will talk about me in their weekly team meeting, but also that she has to leave early from the meeting on 12th so it might take another week. So it did, and she sent a text message to me on last week's Friday. The doctor will write a medical certificate for me without seeing me, so I can change my name as soon as possible. That was great news! But as they have quite much work there, I thought that it might take more than a week for the certificate to arrive. And it still hasn't, I wonder if I'm able to change my name within this month, or will it take another week for the certificate to arrive. As it has to be sent by snail mail. Even the thought that I'm finally able to change my name is feeling so good. I wish the certificate would arrive ASAP. Last week I was hit to the face with the laser again. I didn't

There has been couple of things lately which might have had major impact to my mental health. Dyeing my hair to violet, starting to use makeup daily and using high heel shoes. I started to read manga again as well. And not just any manga, shoujo-ai and yuri manga. It has been quite a ride and voyage, but I feel like I'm not trying to be a woman anymore. Because I am woman. The feeling has come very stealthy, but firmly. For a good while already, I have seen myself as a woman when I have seen myself from half-reflective surface, like window, but it's bit newer thing that I'm "going through" to myself when I look myself from mirror. And very lately the feeling has finally reached inner me. I don't have to look to the mirror to see myself as a woman. More like when I look or see some part in myself, like legs, I see them as feminine. When I realized that what has changed in my mind today, I even cried a little. I'm finally feeling I'm Mira. I'm no

Today was DesuTalks and I was photographing there. Only as general photographs around as it was too small event for studio, and rest of the studio crew was elsewhere anyway. I have read much shoujo-ai and yuri (=girl love) manga lately. I'm not so sure how good idea it has been. During the event, I was surrounded by familiar people. And I still missed CS. Even when there was literally someone I know (and who knows me) in the shouting distance all the time. I'm not sure if I was feeling alone because of the yearning or some other reason even though I was happy to be there and see people. The manga I have read lately has been digital and "free", and couple of them were so good that I wanted to buy them. And as I was in the centrum of Helsinki, I went to Fantasiapelit. Unfortunately someone has just couple of hours before bought the last copy of last volume of one of the mangas I wanted. So I ordered it to Tampere as there was plenty in the warehouse. And bought some

Late again. Migraine is torturing me and sucking all the spare energy I have. I noticed that when I started to use heeled shoes about one and half months ago that little by little I started to get more and more migraine attacks. The situation has been quite cumbersome lately, I'm having almost constant migraines. I think there might three reasons why. First reason is the shoes itself. I'm using my back differently and that have caused muscle tension, which have gone up in the back and to my shoulders. As my back and especially shoulders have been quite sore lately. Second reason is weather. As it has cooled down, it might have done things to my head. For some reason autumn is worst time of the year for my migraine, even though I love this weather otherwise. It starts to be dark in the evening and fall's colors are painting the trees. I just love it so much. 💜💛 And I also thought about summer. It was really hot and humid, which is the worst trigger for my migraine, b