Droplets from the voyage of a trans-woman

Alright, the voyage is really starting to get moving at last. Today I visited hormone and infertility clinic and saw gynecologist. She talked about the process and made sure that I was on the same map and didn't have too big conception what kind of things estrogen will do and which of the changes are irreversible naturally or completely, like boobs won't go anywhere after they have grown without a knife. And my wish is actually quite mild: Boobs (I don't have even preference how big, just something you can actually call proper boobs), that sag-thing from the ends of my jaw away or to the cheekbone and increased emotional sensitivity. And most likely those will happen. My migraine will shift to some direction as well, but it is impossible to say where, yet. The other changes to the psyche is also bit unknown and I look forward to them. Well, time will tell and no-one knows how much of it is needed. After some talking she measured blood pressure, inspected my testicles, thy

I'm finally feeling fragile. I'm not even sure about the reason. It might be the fact that I'm going to hormone clinic on tuesday morning or that I drank three ciders today. Or that I miss certain someone. Or that I talked a bit about MAIS  yesterday first with my parents and later online with couple of friends and I'm even more confident that I have some problems with hormone response. Or accumulated stress. Or some combination of listed. Or even all of them. I want to cry. But I can't more than one drop. I want to hug (certain) someone so much. Writing this is so hard now for some reason. Usually when I start writing blog post, it all just pours out. I don't have to think what to write or say or how to keep the text together. Even while being tipsy. My thoughts are messy and I can't keep then together quite well. I'm drowning myself into the music, which feels like the only thing keeping me together in this moment. I visited my parents yesterday an

Almost two months from last post :|. I visited dermatology clinic, got hit to the face with laser, photographed in Desucon AND Yukicon.. More has happened again than I have realised. I visited dermatology clinic three weeks ago, which was actually very short visit. I met with senior doctor there, who just asked that I'm sure and told about procedure. They don't have laser there, so she just told me where to call and go and wrote payment commitment. So the beard removal will be free for me even while it happens in private sector. The place I went is called Epilaser, they have specialized to do things with laser which involves hair and/or skin. I had first treatment almost two weeks ago on wednesday. And getting hit to the face with laser is quite accurate way to say it. 20 joules of alexandrite laser per blast and there was several dozens of them. Hurted quite a much in some places, mostly in the ends of upper lip and in the center of jaw (there was so much hair..). But for