Droplets from the voyage of a trans-woman

One of the big days process-wise. I went to see psychiatrist in HYKS/HUS in Helsinki today. I also called yesterday to hormone clinic as hormones are working differently now. The nurse couldn't say anything and doctor was busy so she called today. She didn't know either anything just by talking about it so I will go to blood tests to see current hormone levels and go further from the results. Hopefully this is just my body working like it should be. Today I had appointment at 14:00 in Pasila, Helsinki. Takes about 2 hours with train to get there. And as it's not exactly good weather for trains lately, I reserved one hour for the train to be late without me being late. But against my realism, the train was on time. So, had one hour wait before seeing the doctor. The doctor herself was ..interesting. She was overly gracious, which was bit annoying. She asked about the first round and the time between and what I have thought and so, pretty basic questions considering I h

I have had pretty bad anxiety in form of dysphoria lately, and just a moment ago I realized why. I will write generally about my dysphoria in this post. It will contain text about my libido, how I handle the dysphoria now and generally things you might not wanted to know about me. Asexuals might want to stop now. I will start from the beginning. Like I have written previously in this blog, at least indirectly, my dysphoria wasn't that strong at first. It has always been around but I realized it's existence about 10 years ago. After that it has made me think things more and more. Enough that it made me to go to trans clinic. It might be good thing that I didn't start the process 8 years ago, even though I regret that I waited this long. After visiting there and having the examination period done, it never left me alone. As I didn't get the diagnose at first, I lied to myself that the dysphoria is just some form of transvestism or something, tried to ignore it an

I so late again. But still better late than never? So, another month. I have filled my calendar with stuff so haven't had much energy or time to write here. Also, hormones have done things so sneakily. Ending the Voxra caused my weight to hop up some kilograms, so I have had hard time controlling how much I should eat. I'm not sure if that or hormones have caused that my boobs have started to grow again, they are almost filling D cups already 😵. I'm also feeling that it has caused my body work better like it should. It do have caused some migraines but fortunately I have working medicines to it now. Rizatriptan have helped a lot in a form of orodispersible tablet, so it will help rather quickly. Not much have actually happened by hormones, boobs yeah but my mind has settled quite a bit. My way of thinking have stabilized to be like any woman's. Though that means I use cryptic and ambiguous sentences, which causes bit too much trouble of people. I have to practice